To the husbands and children of the universe:

I apologize in advance if I shatter some long-cherished myths along the lines of the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, but I have an announcement to make:

Ahem.

No.  It is not fairies who pick up your dirty socks and underwear up off of the floor at night and deposit them in the dirty clothes hamper or that put the cleaned and folded laundry back into your dresser drawers and closets.  If you wish to know the identity of the being who performs these services, take the members of your household and subtract all the children, pets, husbands and/or daddies and look at the remainder. You do the math.

However, if you choose to cling to this personal fantasy, be aware that it is traditional to leave payment for house fairies in the form of shiny trinkets.

Preferably of the solid gold variety.

Thank you. That is all.