Christian living books are really not material that makes its way onto my bookshelves very often. Although I have been attending my local United Methodist Church regularly (a late development), and I do enjoy it a lot, I would describe myself as more spiritual than religious. My relationship with my Supreme Being is very direct and personal, and neither of us seem to stand a lot on dogma.

But my middle brother has become very involved in the youth ministry at his church back in New York, and as a Christmas gift, he sent me this:

You could have no children, completely skim the references to Christianity and read only the chapter on the differences between scarcity and abundance thinking and you will have gotten your money’s worth from the book.

The premise is this – our society is based on the idea that our measures of success are based on scarcity thinking, that things worth having derive their value from the fact that they are limited. Exclusivity increases value. From the standpoint of personal and society development, this is a recipe for disaster. It is a concept that places us in constant competition with each other, a system with a few “winners” and a losing majority. And the idea is that the constant competition will ultimate lead to innovation which ideally benefits all by trickle-down.

But it is a system that by its nature, by its very design breeds discontent. Progress is defined and driven by the feeling that happiness is brought by things that not everyone has. We are an economy and a society that is motivated by unhappiness.

How completely messed up is that?

I am an acknowledged gadget girl, and you are going to laugh when I tell you this, but if I think of all those moments where I am the most supremely contented, there isn’t a single material possession involved.

What brings me happiness?

Family.

Friends.

A job well done.

All these things are things that are available to us in abundance for the making. If we teach our children (and ourselves) that THESE are the things that bring us happiness, that these are the measurements of a good life, well lived, they will have the formula to live contented, fulfilling lives. If we convey to them somehow that we measure our worth by the car we drive of the size of our house, we are setting them up to compare their lives to the inevitable person with the larger house and the more expensive car, instead of teaching them that we “win” when we reach out and share what we have to create the circumstances for true happiness – companionship and cooperation.

We are setting them up to be unhappy. We are teaching discontentedness

And yet, avoiding that exact situation is damnably difficult. We are constantly bombarded by messages that tell us that the quality of life is in a bottle or can be placed on a credit card. Homes are not places to live and to love and to make memories in – they are investments to be traded upward in a race to make the most money and have the most house. We mortgage our happiness in an incremental race without asking ourselves that in the penultimate moment if this will be the way we will measure our existance. Will we leave this world at peace because of what we own? Or will that peace be brought by the happiness and love we gave away and were given?

Stop and think about the messages we send our children. Are their parties about the gifts or the companionship? What do we celebrate when we celebrate? What do we discard? What do we keep? Are our hands and our hearts open or closed?

What do we tell them about the value of life?