My son is not talking.  Not really anyway.  He says something kinda sorta like “Mama” when he gets really desperate (like when he is trying to make me wake up at oh-my-god-too-early).  At one year old, this had me a bit concerned. But he babbles with intent – it’s like he’s TRYING to tell me something that I am obviously too dense to understand.

This is not to say that he does not communicate.  He is learning signs like crazy. You can really tell a lot about his priorities by how fast he learns a sign.

“Cookie” he learned right off the bat.  Nothin’ like a little positive reinforcement to encourage communication.

 After he discovered that fabulous elixer that is cow’s milk, he picked up “Milk” in about two repetitions.

He has also become proficient at “all done”, mostly because he knows it gets him out of his high chair.  And “more”, but sometimes he likes to use that as a weapon – I jump up to get him another cup of milk, only to have it used as a ballistic missle to keep the dogs on their toes.

 And, of course, “bye-bye”, which he starts doing the moment I pick my keys up in the morning.  That’s the saddest sign of all, but since he learned it, he has stopped crying so much when I leave in the morning.  It’s like once he learned how to acknowledge that I was leaving, it gave him a little more control over the situation, and he deals with the separation much better. I wish something that simple worked for me.

I think the trend started a few weeks back when he discovered that he could get where he wanted to go by pushing a toy into position as a convenient stepstool to greater heights.  Nothing in the house is safe from his exploration. Kris left him alone for a few minutes in his room and came back to find him with his feet on the Brio table, hands on his activity bench in the downward-facing-dog postion and NO idea where the heck to go from there.  Unfortunately, his lagging ability to get himself down from heights he has taken himself have resulted in a few hard-earned lessons in “gravity works”.  But the fact remains that he pointed himself in a direction, analyzed the obstacles and formed a plan (albeit a bit flawed) of attack.

He has also started to try dressing himself.  The baby who once screamed anytime we tried to put shoes on his little feet, and only barely tolerated socks, has now become obsessed with the concept of shoes.  What makes this odd is that neither Kris nor I are “shoe people”.  Mine come off the minute I get home from work and we never wear them around the house.  But somewhere some light switch came on in Harry’s head, and he has figure out that there are actually these things that seem to go on your feet, and then YOU CAN’T SEE YOUR TOES!  FASCINATING!  If he could only make the association between pants and his butt, my life would become incrementally easier.  Right now, shorts are a strange variation of shirt, and if I would just let him keep trying he KNOWS he will be able to put both arms through the leg holes and force his head out through the crotch.  But the point is that he sees clothes that he wants to wear, and goes about the business (rather ineffectively), of putting them on.

So, big deal, right?  As a non-parent (and I spent a LOT of years being on of those on the outside looking in with incredulity), this stuff is not particularly amazing.  But when a year ago you had this tiny being that couldn’t hold his own head up, and whose desires could only be expressed by screaming until rather dimwitted and sleep-deprived(depraved?) parents hit upon the right solution through a series of desperate trial and error, it is miraculous.  When ONE MONTH ago, he couldn’t/wouldn’t drink from a sippy cup without help, these small steps are nothing short of brilliant. 

It’s not so much question of showing off a new skill. In his first year, we got rather accustomed to waking up and seeing him do something completely new and fully-formed overnight.  Having no true basis for comparison, I don’t know if this is normal, but Harry has never done anything in halves.  He seems to simply make the decision to do something one day and does it.  No mucking about for our little Yoda –  “there is no try, there is only do.”  No, what makes it amazing is what is going on INSIDE.  He suddenly has developed this idea that he can actually make a decision on his own and then DO something about it.  His life isn’t driven by a series of “I needs” any more.  He looks around, ponders, comes to conclusions and acts on them by himself, without feeling the need to involve a mommy in the process.  I know ADULTS who have never progressed to that point.  The beginning of the second year should come with the label “Caution, self-actualization in process.”

I am never sure whether to celebrate or mourn.