Hey, it’s been a Holiday weekend, there has been a considerable deal of slack. 

I have tried to be an upstanding and grateful American and have spent at least a portion of this weekend thinking on the virtues of our country and it’s freedoms and the sacrifices of those who got us there, but I do have to abashedly admit it did not form the overwhelming majority of the four days I ostensibly had as a holiday.  I am simultaneously proud of my honesty in admitting this and relatively ashamed that it is so.

Instead, I celebrated the American work ethic by actually spending a chunk of my holiday time voluntarily in my office and actually working.  A day when 95% of your coworkers are absent is a blissfully quiet time to do the filing and organization you have been putting off during the rest of your actual work time when you are far too preoccupied putting out brush fires and engaging in crisis managment.  For me, this often means unwittingly creating a crisis to manage.  I also, with the extensive help of the in-laws managed to finish painting my porch and my son’s room and making two completely unsuccessful attempts to put up wallpaper border.  My list of intentions far, far outweighs my accomplishments. 

So, in lieu of anything meaningful to the life of the casual reader, I offer the few life lessons I took home from my days of rest:

My son is afraid of two things in this world – fireworks and bouncing tiggers.

Self-stick vinyl wallpaper border isn’t.

Even industrial spray cement will not stick self-stick border to the wall.

Industrial spray cement, will, however, set off Nighthawk explosive gas alarms.

Industrial spray cement will set off Nighthawk explosive gas alarms even when you plug them back in the NEXT MORNING.  (I find this bit of trivia a tad alarming).

Corn dogs will turn even the most mildmannered babies into marauding muggers.

And, one of the great truisms of our time:

Rarely seen relatives will make an appearance on your doorstep during the most inconvenient moments imaginable.  Those moments will include those when you are sticking yourself to nonstick self-stick wallpaper border.