“Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness that created them.” – Albert Einstein

Now that I have vented my spleen, worked up into a frenzy over posts that I really knew better than to read, I am much calmer.

My usual restraint was worn a bit thin by my own self-pity.  My leg is not healing.  Or, as my husband will remind me – it is not healing as fast as I want it to.

After five weeks, there is no hard bone growth.  In fact, the fracture has widened by about 1 mm.  See-you-back-in-a-month, and good luck with that cast.

I know that it sometimes takes up to 8 weeks to see hard callus formation.

I know that sometimes the gap appears to widen while bone remodeling is occuring.

I know all this.

But I also know that this means I still can’t wear my jeans, I am still banished to my chair in the corner of the room, and I still cannot drive.  I still have to pretend I am being independent while I rely on everyone to cover my slack, and I need to try not to be surly about it in the process.  I am failing miserably at that part.

I never claimed to be a good patient.  I am an exasperatingly impatient one.  I hate being a “burden” with all my will to hate.  And here’s the rub – in trying NOT to be a burden, I inadvertantly may have created this situation.  I may have put too much stress on the break, and too soon, and ended up prolonging my current irritatingly dependent state.

And yes, my husband is thinking “I told you so.”

If anyone can knit with furious surliness, I have accomplished it.  Apparently my bones haven’t quite gotten the memo.

August 26th, 2008 at 8:55 am
2 Responses to “Get used to Surly. Surly is the new paradigm.”
  1. 1
    Cinnkitty Says:

    Uhhh… so is now a bad time to tell you that Thomas wants a Jane hat too? 🙂 I feel for ya, really I do.

  2. 2
    Deirdre Says:

    shall I give you something positive to think about?

    I’m flying to Wichita……yes, she’s in labor. It may still be a while, but she is in labor. 😉