Comments on: Life as three

By: Kim Edwards

Kim Edwards — Sat, 25 Nov 2006 23:48:07 +0000

While living in Arkansas, with NO savings, but a loving, incredible husband and four biological children ages 12-18, we adopted at birth, two precious little boys from an agency in Texas. Their mothers had wonderful care, received counselling, but were just young and unprepared to parent.There were no alcohol or drugs involved.I was 39 with the first adoption and 40 with the second. They allowed us to pay $100 a month but we could not finalize until they were paid for. Through incredible generosity of friends and even our older children working jobs, we finalized when our first was 10 months old.The total fees was $6000 for the first and $7000 for the second. Our older children are now 25, 24,22 and 21, and the little ones are almost 9 and 7.They are wonderful blessings to our family. Please contact me if you want any info. My prayers are with you.

By: WhyMommy

WhyMommy — Fri, 24 Nov 2006 21:13:07 +0000

Robbin, this post must have taken incredible courage for you to write. Perhaps almost as much as the decision took. I admire you and the peace that it sounds like you’ve found. I am finishing my second and last pregnancy, and already I am so sad that there will never be a third (due to my own medical struggles and the 7+ months of bedrest this pregnancy has cost me). This post puts it all into beautiful perspective, and I thank you.

Hang in there and keep your chin up. You’re doing beautifully.

By: Emily

Emily — Fri, 24 Nov 2006 01:23:11 +0000

http://james127.blogspot.com/2006/11/looking-for-adoption-money.html

possibly helpful?!

By: abogada

abogada — Wed, 22 Nov 2006 18:17:29 +0000

Oh, I have those same struggles. I got married at 39, went through everything from Clomid to IVF over a several year period, and I finally conceived with donor eggs. Our daughter is now two, and I so want another one. I think if I didn’t have nine frozen embryos, I could walk away. But it haunts me, every day. I would risk another one; I just turned 47 (I had my daughter at 44). My husband, on the other hand, is eleven years old than I am and is against it. The problem? He’s left me a window — if I really, really want to, he will “go along.” Another window, just like the embroyos are. I imagine it would be so freeing to just be able to walk away from the dream of a second child. But I just can’t yet. I’m glad that you have found peace. I pray that I will.

By: M&Co.

M&Co. — Wed, 22 Nov 2006 03:24:45 +0000

Giving up the child that looked like me with my husband’s disposition was the hardest thing I ever did. I bid you peace in your choice.

By: amy

amy — Wed, 22 Nov 2006 02:02:47 +0000

good luck to you, robbin. i hope that your decision today eases your mind and lets you have some peace and helps you focus. i agree, who knows? you may just get a surprise down the road. i will say, as long as you have your health and one beautiful little boy to cherish, you are truly blessed. i think that every day after my slightly tough pregnancy last year that produced a gorgeous little girl, who just turned one. i do hope for a second little one down the road but i’m trying to realize now that i should just take it a day at a time and what will be, will be. there is a lot to be thankful for. what a perfect time of year to reflect on that.
(found you through antique mommy) =)

By: grafted branch

grafted branch — Wed, 22 Nov 2006 01:53:24 +0000

Oh ho ho ho! Sometimes this is just where God wants us! Completely resigned and living in the present. I tried for years to conceive a second child (granted, I was younger) with no “luck” until I could honestly say, “not my will, but your’s Lord.” I was pregnant within 2 cycles without any medical intervention. I was blessed with a 3rd baby 2 years after #2; lost 2 last year, and am still waiting and wondering if there are more sleep-deprived nights in my future. (I’m 38.)

Menopause can start and stop for a decade as I understand it. I have many friends who are still having babies in their early 40s. Seriously! Never say never is all I’m saying.

Meanwhile…being contented with what you have and where you are is the best feeling ever, isn’t it? God bless you Robbin…

By: Kacey

Kacey — Wed, 22 Nov 2006 01:31:24 +0000

Gee, Antique Mommy really gets around! When she says “Go read”… lots of us go read! Please, don’t laugh when I say that I had fertility problems. I went through hormone shots, pessaries, two surgeries and all sorts of basal temps and no messing around when we wanted to and enforced sex when the temp chart said it was time. We tried for years and finally had the first child four years after starting. Then, we had two more in the next three years. My husband decided that he could not take the worry and stress that went with childbirth and gave up with those three. Even though my plate was full and running over, every month brought the slim hope that somehow I might be pregnant. I even thought that the rumbles of gas felt like inutero kicking. We are women and our bodies cry out for the fullfillment of giving life — that can be the only explanation for the familes of 10 to 12 children. You will find that you are needed in the lives of many children who are not lucky enough to have mothers like you. Who else will be the room mother for the second grade or the Scout Leader for the boy in Jr. High? I said not to laugh at my infertility, but I didn’t say that I was all done birthing kidlets by the time I was twenty-four. I know how you feel, but not the desperation, since I had twenty years to keep trying.

By: veronica

veronica — Wed, 22 Nov 2006 01:17:37 +0000

Thank you for your beautifully written post. I hope you find comfort in your little boy.

Even though it is painful, you sound so wise to stop. There are so many women who never give up, and are destroyed by it.

By: maggie

maggie — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 23:47:27 +0000

I too found you through Antique Mommy, and I’m also the older mom of one and only one. I hit 41 and realized that maybe we needed some help since sex w/o birth control for seven years hadn’t done the trick (okay, I’m an idiot). One IUI and three IVFs (and one miscarriage) later, we got the girlie – who’s now three, and was born shortly before I turned 43. We never even thought about trying again, though we don’t use any protection. Somehow, I just knew it would be fruitless. I do twinge at the sight of tiny babies and pregnant ladies, but mostly I’m just thankful for the one. And sometimes I think some miracle will happen! Maybe it will for you?