Quite some time ago, I was introduced to the Twenty Things concept by Sarah. The idea is to list twenty things you really, really want to say to certain people, but for various reasons you can’t. Either they are too politically incorrect, too personal, too heartwrenching, or maybe they just plain wouldn’t make a difference. But, after a while these things build up pressure to a point where the healthiest thing to do is just get them off your chest. There is something to to be said for getting them off your chest in a way where maybe, just maybe, one of those certain people WILL actually hear them. I wrote my first Twenty Things list some time ago during my short tenure on MySpace, and it was one of the most liberating experiences. I felt my chest literally loosen after I hit the “Send” button.
Lately, the Twenty Things have shortened to Ten. I prefer to think this is just a sign that it’s such an efficient stress release device that twenty is no longer necessary. Anyway, lately I have felt the need to unburden. I have said before, blogging is my low-budget alternative to expensive talk therapy. Soooo….
Here are my Ten Things. If you think they might apply to you, they might. They likely don’t. I will never tell. Chances are, however, I already have in so many words. So don’t bother asking.
1. The one thing that is holding you back is that ENORMOUS chip you have on your shoulder. I have never seen such a walking pity-party. Step back and gain a bit of perspective. Please. Or if you can’t, shut UP about it.
2. No matter how much you exasperate me sometimes, I love you like crazy. We have so much fun together. Let the party never stop.
3. One of the most satisfying things I have witnessed lately is watching you come into your own. Be proud of yourself.
4. There aren’t very many people in this world I despise. In fact, you are the list of one. You are everything that disgusts me - petty, self-centered, cruel and condescending. I only pray that the people I love see the ugliness behind the pretty mask.Â
5. I don’t think I ever tell you enough how much I appreciate your friendship, and how little I have done to deserve it. I only wish you were closer.
6. Yes, it does upset me. Yes, I wish you would stop it. No, it’s not for the reasons you think. And no, I would never tell you.
7. You are lucky he loves you so much. And I love him. Because otherwise? I would not give you the time of day.
8. I wish we knew each other better. I would really like to hang out more. I just don’t know how to ask. I really am that shy.
9. I have so many mixed feelings about this project. I want to go through with it, but I will be relieved if I don’t have to. I just hate falling down on a commitment. Show me an easy way out.
10. You will never know how much you changed my life for the better.Â
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Ahhh. Lighter already.
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I think one of the great things about lists like these – is that while one of the items might not be about you – they get you to thinking, and if you have a guilty conscience about something, you start thinking about that, too, … so while it *might* not be about you, it could cause you to think enough, to change the way you’re acting about something. uh… does that make sense?
October 25, 2006 @ 9:32 amI have had the same thing happen to me. Generally it’s for the better – I tend to become a little more attentive. And I am a person absolutely driven by guilt. But, I assure you, if any of the above apply to you, they are the positive ones! 🙂
October 25, 2006 @ 9:47 amI’m glad you explained that. I read Sarah’s the other day, and had no idea what she was going on about. Now I understand. Reading lists like that is good for the introspective soul. I don’t know that any of them are about me, but looking at the list, I can see how fully half of them could, at least in some small way. I may have to try writing something like that, but I don’t think that 20 would be enough.
October 25, 2006 @ 12:31 pmVery liberating experience. I highly recommend it.
And I get just as much from reading other people’s lists. It’s a sort of self-improvement project.
October 25, 2006 @ 12:33 pmOoooh. That list is frightening as well as inspiring. I could especially relate to #8.
October 25, 2006 @ 12:38 pm